Posted By Stephanie Breznau on Aug 22, 2018

Is the church a place of refuge?

Today was a sunny Sunday much like any other. My husband and I often travel separately to church, because as the Lead Pastor of Mayfair Bible Church he needs to arrive early to pray and make certain all the details are in order for the morning. He’ll often take one of our children with him as a cheery tagalong.

But most often the ramp-up to the worship service feels very busy as he and I greet hundreds of members and guests, pray with folks in the foyer, check-in our younger two children into Sunday School, and find a place to sit just before the band strikes the first chord. We don’t resent this, but rather embrace these moments as times of meaningful interaction with God’s people. On this particular morning, Michael led off the service with a few announcements and a call to worship, which meant I would be flying solo with our oldest son who has high-functioning ASD and ADHD…

…I silently slid into the back pew with Hudson and hoped today he would be calm during the worship service. I quietly whispered a prayer that he would not run off like a wild goose or blurt out, “Don’t touch me!”

But like so many Sundays, his composure quickly unraveled. As he flopped onto the floor and rolled over, my heart sank. Yet again, it would be a struggle for us until the kids were dismissed for children’s church, where he could go into a quieter, more hands-on environment with his peers.

Do I say this because I don’t want Hudson to worship with me? No. We’ve tried for years upon years to train him to sit still, sing, and listen. I want nothing more than to worship Jesus with my children. But far more often than not, he is unable to sit still, listen, or participate with any sense of normalcy for a 9-and-a-half-year-old boy.

We have learned to cherish his moments of full engagement in the service, yet respond with grace and patience toward him in the other times when it all seems too overwhelming. Most important is that he knows we love him even in his many moments of overstimulation and frustration. Our pray is for him to increase in his love for Christ and for His Church… rather than grow up to despise the Savior and reject the Church.

The church, as a gathering of Christ-followers, should be a haven where any child – particularly those with special needs – can come to Jesus Christ and be accepted for who they are. After all, He is the one who created them in His own image. No child is too different, too challenging, too loud, too wiggly, or too unacceptable for Him.

We follow a King who said to his demanding, commanding disciples:

“Let the little children come to me and do not hinder them, for to such belongs the kingdom of heaven.” (Matthew 19:14 ESV)

Thankfully, we are part of a church that is doing everything they can to show love to him and our family. Just this past week, a phenomenal team of volunteers met with us to develop a specialized IEP (Individualized Education Plan) for his success in our children’s ministry. Unfortunately, this is not a common practice or attitude in most churches. Strong data indicates 90% of families with special needs children do not attend any place of worship. They are considered an unreached people group. Why? Because there is usually either avoidance or intolerance.

A warm and loving welcome toward those with special needs is a necessity in the church. For without it, the congregation is missing out on the many gifts that come from befriending people with special abilities.

So let us, the body of Christ, follow His example and let these children come to us as a place of refuge.

P.S.
My husband and I have written more in-depth on our unique journey with our son elsewhere. On his struggle with perseverating around bad words and ideas, Michael wrote “New Paint” <—- click here. Concerning our inner struggle with his challenges, we wrote “Our Journey with Autism.”